Notes for Stregoni Benefici, Chapter 20

September 7th, 2012 § 0 comments

“Unto whomsoever much is given…”

I admit, that’s what I wanted to name this chapter. Because I think that quote captures Carlisle so well. Vampirism is, to Carlisle (at least as I write him), as much a blessing as a curse. It gives him superhuman power and strength, and he is determined to use those attributes for good. Rather than see them as a means to destroy humans, they give him all the more fuel to hold himself to the highest standard. He has more gifts than humans do, and since he’s not going to use those gifts to eat them, he’s going to use those gifts to save them.

But of course that creates conflict, too. He can’t save everyone, and the added high standard simply puts more pressure on him (as high standards are wont to do). So instead of seeing his gifts clearly, and acknowledging to himself when he’s done as much as he’s able to do,  he keeps pressing, and becoming more and more depressed as he does so.

Carlisle needs people in his life who offer him the forgiveness he’s unable to. Later, that will be Esme and Edward the rest of his children Which is of course, why there’s Dorothy here.

This chapter went from 2,900 words to 3,200 at beta, and then as I revised it, I would add two hundred words here, only to delete two hundred more later. But as always, there will be more to come next week.

Many thanks to Openhome for being the person who both forgives me for holding myself to ridiculous high standards…but simultaneously makes sure I produce a chapter that meets them.


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